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Collaborative Family Law
The process you choose to end your marriage will
have a far-reaching impact on the custodial, financial
and emotion outcome. Here in Texas you have the
options of mediation, Collaborative Family Law (Collaborative
Practice), traditional negotiation, or litigation.
The following is an overview of the Collaborative
Family Law process.
I. COLLABORATIVE FAMILY
LAW (“CFL”)
CFL is one process option in the range of options
available for the termination of a marriage. On
one end of the options is a couple sitting down
at the kitchen table and reaching an agreement on
all of their issues. On the other end is the traditional
litigation system, which requires that an outside
third party make decisions concerning the termination
of the marriage. There has been a considerable body
of research focused on divorce and children. In
virtually every study, the conclusion is the same.
High levels of parental conflict are toxic to children.
CFL will help you focus your energies on the “good
divorce.” That is, if a marriage must end, CFL focuses
on helping you work toward a relationship that will
allow for healthy post-divorce communication, protect
the emotional and mental health of your children,
and protect against the financial erosion of the
marital estate. As you read this, you might feel
such a divorce would be impossible in your situation.
There may be hurt, mistrust and anger. It is the
rare divorce that doesn’t have some of these feelings.
Your lawyer has experience in dealing with all these
emotions. Perhaps the overriding emotion you are
feeling is fear. People often experience fear around
parenting arrangements, whether lifestyles can be
maintained, and how assets and liabilities will
be divided.
The goal of the Collaborative Family Law process
is to help you make meaningful agreements that allow
you to move toward the termination of your marriage
with dignity and respect.
II. UNDERSTANDING THE BASICS
OF COLLABORATIVE FAMILY LAW
In a CFL case, a husband and wife are each represented
by an attorney trained in interest-based negotiation,
the structure of the CFL case, and interpersonal
conflict resolution skills. The attorneys and clients
enter into a contract, called a “Participation Agreement.”
Your attorney will review the Participation Agreement
with you. It is important that before you sign the
Participation Agreement, you read it, understand
it, and feel comfortable with its terms. The Agreement
provides that each of you is represented by your
own attorney. In spite of the fact that much of
the work is done in four-way meetings and the goal
is to create a mutual, problem-solving atmosphere,
each party is represented solely by his or her attorney.
The four-way meetings are confidential and pursuant
to the Participation Agreement, statements made
cannot be used in a subsequent court case. The Participation
Agreement requires each of you to fully and completely
disclose all information relevant to the determination
of the issues. It is important that all assets and
liabilities are disclosed, and that before agreements
are made, each of you understands the value of those
assets and liabilities. It is also important that
before agreements are made, you each understand
your budgetary needs and the nature of the income
available to support each household.
In some cases, you, your spouse, and the attorneys
may decide that additional associated professionals
might be helpful to the resolution of your case.
For example, where there are issues related to parenting,
you may decide to use the services of a Child Specialist.
A Child Specialist is a mental health professional
that is jointly retained by you and your spouse
as a neutral consultant. The Child Specialist is
in a unique position to provide assistance to a
family. With your consent, the Child Specialist
may suggest meeting with your child or children
and you and your spouse to gather information regarding
all of your interests and concerns. The Child Specialist
will be able to inform you about common reactions
children have about divorce, discuss developmental
and practical considerations important to making
parenting arrangements, and assist you in developing
realistic parenting time plans. Additionally, the
Child Specialist can serve as a resource after your
divorce, to help you and your children through difficult
transition periods as the children get older.
You may also choose to engage the services of
a certified financial planner. A certified divorce
financial planner can assist each or both of you
to develop realistic post-separation budgets. The
financial planner may also generate support calculations
and provide projections for understanding the long-term
implications of settlement options.
Finally, in some cases where communication between
a couple is difficult, you and your spouse may choose
to retain Coaches to assist you both. Coaches can
assist in creating a new communications dialog that
will allow you to optimally work within the Collaborative
model.
While at first blush, this might feel like a
“cast of thousands”, in reality, in certain cases,
it is a more cost-effective way to “outsource” specific
issues to professionals that understand the Collaborative
Process, and will likely charge at a lower hourly
rate than your attorney. In your case you may use
all, some or none of the associated professionals.
The Participation Agreement requires that both
attorneys are precluded from representing their
respective clients in the event the case reaches
impasse, or in the event either party chooses to
withdraw from the process. If additional professionals
are engaged, they too are precluded from participation
in the court process. If you find that you are “stuck”
on certain issues, other options, such as impasse
mediation or neutral evaluation may assist in resolving
the impasse. If the impasse cannot be broken, your
attorney will assist you in transitioning your case
to an attorney who will take the case to court for
you.
III. THE COLLABORATIVE
FAMILY LAW CHOREOGRAPHY
One of the critical components of the CFL process
is that you and your lawyer will prepare for meetings
and structure the negotiation along the same path
as your spouse and his or her lawyer. Your lawyer
will meet with you to discuss your concerns and
the agendas for the four-way meetings.
Your lawyer will ask you to focus on your interests,
concerns, goals and objectives. This is important
because you will be engaging in “interest based”
(often called “win-win”) negotiation. In essence,
your interests are those things that are important
to you regarding the termination of your marriage.
When you think about your interests, you might ask
yourself how you will be able to measure whether
you have a satisfactory agreement when your case
is completed. Interests are in essence, the big
picture. For example, an “interest” might be security
for the children. This differs from a “position.”
A “position” would be . . . “I have to have the
house for the children.” While retaining a house
might be an option to meet an interest, in the Collaborative
process, it is important to look at all of the various
options that meet important interests. An interest
might be, “It is important to me to have security
in my retirement years.” A “position” would be .
. . “I must retain my retirement plan.”
After your lawyer has an opportunity to understand
what is important to you, your lawyer will communicate
with your spouse’s lawyer. This will give the lawyers
an opportunity to learn about your case from your
spouse’s perspective, and to begin discussing how
information can be efficiently gathered. If there
are immediate crisis issues, the lawyers will discuss
a framework for focusing on those issues.
The lawyers will assist you in creating an agenda
for the first four-way meeting. The four-way meetings
generally take place in two-hour sessions. The majority
of the Collaborative work is accomplished in four-way
meetings, although you will have ample opportunity
to meet privately with your attorney. At the four-way
meeting, the Participation Agreement will be reviewed.
You should spend some time reviewing the Participation
Agreement before the four-way meeting to be sure
that you understand its terms. The lawyers will
also provide an overview of the entire process with
you, and reiterate communications guidelines helpful
for effective four-way meetings.
For many people going through the termination
of their marriage, the idea of a meeting with their
spouse and their spouse’s attorney can produce real
anxiety. The lawyers are aware of your anxiety,
but if you are particularly anxious, you should
share that with your attorney.
After the four-way meeting, you will likely spend
some time with your attorney discussing what needs
to be done and agendas for upcoming meetings. If
you have any concerns about the Collaborative process,
you should always share those concerns with your
attorney.
IV. ROADMAP OF THE COLLABORATIVE
PROCESS
In some cases, couples terminating their marriage
are dealing with immediate issues, and in some cases
there is the luxury of focusing on more long-term
issues. Generally speaking, the process involves
the following:
- Exploring and understanding your interests/concerns
and your spouse’s interests/concerns
- Gathering all information necessary to make
good decisions. Full disclosure is essential
Understanding the value of what has been disclosed
(this may mean retaining neutral appraisers,
business valuation
- Understanding the nature of the assets and
liabilities (for example, taxed vs. accounts
not yet taxed).
- Where the parties agree it would be helpful,
involving mental health professionals or others.
- Generating options
- Choosing from those options
Throughout the process, your attorney will work
with you to assist in the negotiation of your case.
The attorney will help elicit your concerns. It
is also important that your attorney has an opportunity
to understand your spouse’s concerns. Your attorney
will work to ensure all of the necessary information
is on the table and will assist you in generating
creative options and in analyzing those options.
There are a lot of different ways to analyze
options. One way is to determine how the court system
might determine a particular issue. Another is to
determine how a particular option actually fits
into your family, regardless of the court outcome.
If you choose an option that is very different than
a possible court-generated outcome, your attorney
may want to ensure you are fully apprised of the
consequences of that decision. This is not to preclude
you from going in a specific direction, but rather
to insure you are moving in a direction with full
awareness. It is not unusual for couples in the
Collaborative process to select options that are
far more creative and tailored to the needs of their
family than court-generated decisions.
Please contact us to discover how Collaborative
Law’s non-adversarial approach can help you and
your family move forward with your lives.
Contact
us for more information
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